Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Medicine Withdrawls

Brian and I both went down to spend the day with Lydia yesterday morning.  Brian is planning to stay down there for a couple of days.  Brian's work has been so great to let him work from the hospital  while Lydia is in there. I came back home in the afternoon to be with the other kiddos, then we'll trade again probally tomorrow. I was supposed to see my surgeon yesterday for a post-op check-up but he was doing another transplant.  This made me feel happy for the recipient.  I am very grateful for Dr. Vanderwerf's knowledge and skill that he uses to help save Lydia's and so many others lives. 
Lydia continues to do well.  She was resting much more peacefully yesterday and Sunday than she had been the previous few days.  Maybe it's because her fever has been so much better.  Brian said that she had a restless night last night though.  The nurse said she had many of the signs of withdrawl from the morphine she has been on so they are going to try weaning her slower.  As I talked to the nurse about this, she said that Lydia will likely be weaning off of this for months at home.  She is still having a lot of secretions so they are not quite ready to extubate her breathing tube yet, but her lungs are still doing great.
Yesterday I recieved an email from a dear friend of mine.  She told me that she was especially touched by the 4th and 5th verses of the Hymn she sang in chuch on Sunday.  The Hymn was "How Firm a Foundation". These verses say:  4. When through the deep waters I call thee to go, The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o’erflow, For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless, And sanctify to thee, and sanctify to thee, and sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.  5. When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie, My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply.  The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design Thy dross to consume, thy dross to consume, Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine."  That is one of my favorite Hymns, but the words to those verses were especially meaningful to me and opened my emotions as they really hit home right now. There have been times over the past year and a half when I have felt like I was barely hanging on by a thread and that I would fall at any moment. I didn't know if mine and Brian's marraige was going to survive the tumoil in our lives that didn't just include Lydia's health problems but other major stresses as well. As verse 4 talks about, my sorrow was sometimes so great that I thought it would overflow. But, with Heavenly Father's help it didn't overflow and over the past few months, I have felt an overwhelming outpouring of strength, peace and blessings upon me and my family.  Just when I thought I was going to break, Heavenly Father lifted me up and has "blessed and sanctified me in my deepest distress"(verse 4).  Many kind people have told us that we are handling this time really well and have been amazing through this.  I don't feel amazing at all though, I just feel extremely blessed by the grace of our Heavenly Father.  I know that I am only handling it because of the comfort of His spirit, the strength He has given me,  the atonement of my Savior, and all of you "angels" He has put in my life to help us.  I am so grateful for and eternally indebted for the Savior's atonement in behalf of Lydia, myself and my family.  How blessed I am to have the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life.

4 comments:

  1. Janene,
    What a beautiful testimony you have! Thank you for your uplifting words to all of us and thank you for sharing your true feelings. I cannot even begin to understand the full capacity of what you and Brian have gone through with Lydia's health problems but you have honestly been such a source of light throughout the whole thing. I can personally say that you have affected me for good. I am hoping Lydia will be able to withstand being weaning from the morphine little by little.
    We are truly blessed to have the gospel of Jesus Christ, yes! I have grown to love the gospel more and more as I grow older. Thank you, Janene!

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  2. Sweet Janene, Both you and Brian should earn medical degrees of some kind after this. Your understanding of all they are doing for Lydia amaze me. You spoke of them changing her lines because of infection. Those dang lines are trouble makers. I am calling the temple for Lydia again with the change of a PIC line. I know they can be trouble makers. Is she on antibiotics or just meds to stop rejection? I know when you are down in the deepest pit of sorrow and discouragement is when you are being lifted up by Heavenly Father. You and your family have been through so much. Just as you have longed to hold your baby, He has put his arms around you, held you, kept you warm and comforted. I hope you have a hymn book with you at the hospital. So many hymns have word of comfort and encouragement. When we sing them, often we are so intent on singing the correct note, we don't get the full meaning of the hymn. Reading the hymn in a quiet place without regard to the beautiful music that goes with them teaches so many gospel principles. You are in our constant prayers and so loved and admired. When you hold Lydia next, give her a gentle hug from Aunt Charlene.

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  3. So many thougths came to me during Fast meeting yesterday. A sister had lost her seventeen old son in a freak climbing accident.
    She commented on feeling a soft tap on her shoulder when she was praying and knew it was Heavenly Father letter her know He was with her.
    I think so often when we are on overload, he has to get our attention in amazing ways.

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  4. Janene - thank you for sharing these beautiful words and for testifying in such a profound way as to how Father works in our lives. Every time I am at a point where I think I can not go on a step further I think about the words the Lord told Joseph; ' If thou art called to pass through tribulation...' (and many other conditions of life).....he reminds Joseph with these precious words; 'Therefore, hold on thy way, and the priesthood shall remain with thee; for their bounds are set, they cannot pass. Thy days are known, and thy years shall not be numbered less; therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever."

    Hold on your way Janene, even this trial is numbered. You are not alone. You will not be left comfortless. Prayers assend heavenward daily for you and your sweet family and especially for precious Lydia.

    Each day, as you walk through a section of this trial and record your thoughts and feelings you teach each of us. You give, touch, teach and testify in a way that you will never realize.

    Love and prayers,

    Joi

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chillin' and grubbin'

Spenc and Lydia enjoying some brocolli (at least the taste of it for Lydia since she just sucks out the flavor and spits it out)